[Arustik1]

Thought this was the funniest thing and couldn't resist to post...

Little Tony
Little Tony on Math

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately
licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is
biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."


LITTLE TONY ON MATH

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father?

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies TONY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
example of a multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a
mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need
to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to
use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is
'urinate'. Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly,
and I will allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in
it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"


LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
him said,

"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat"

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.

[Scorpion]

HAHAHAHAHAH those were fricking hilarious. Haven't had a good laugh like that for a while. Thanks for posting man.

[MadDog]

Jokes are OLD, and I heard them with Little JOHNNY.....

Go here for more:Little Johnny jokes

[Terrance28]

I heard the first 2 before but the rest are pretty funny.

[Arustik1]

Sorry if its a repost...just too funny!