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Tough call for sure.
If you plan to drive the car infrequently and are not concerned about performance or gas mileage, seems like you should get the "M".
To counter that, most people cannot distinguish an "M" car from any other BMW. So is buying to impress others, I'd save your money. The M235i is actually faster 0-60 than that M car. Less miles, better gas mileage, softer ride and likely lower insurance rates.
Higher Mileage M may need repairs sooner =expensive. Newer lower mileage 235i less likely but still expensive. Compare maintenance records for both cars. Still, M has 3X the miles as the M235i.
For me, I'd grab the M235i. One of the best repair records based on ownership reports. Is actually faster than the 2009 M. Playing with the M235i accelerator will impress you. Still a BMW
M235i will put a smile on your face for less money and potentially less trouble.
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