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I've had this very problem too. I think it is related to how BMW (and in particular this generation idrive version) handles bluetooth profiles with Android as I've never had the same issue in other vehicles with bluetooth connectivity (including some of the newer model BMW's i've driven as loaners). Since i've had my M235 from new at the end of 2015 i've had a Nexus 6p, then Pixel 2xl and now the Pixel 4xl. There always seems to be an issue with bluetooth audio. At first there were a lot of connection issues or the audio would indicate playing, but no sound could be heard. I'd often have to disable and restart bluetooth on the phone to get it to connect.
Anyway, the issue you describe above, I've encountered that since probably Android 9. Essentially, some audio has to be playing for me to receive any type of audible phone alert (emails, messages, etc) including navigation instructions (whether it be google maps or something else like Waze or Here Maps). you can easily reproduce this issue as there is an option within google maps to test/preview what it will sound like over bluetooth. if you try to play it while no other sound/music is playing, you will not hear anything. but if you then have something playing and try to test the sound again, it will be audible. I've accepted this finicky behavior and gave up trying to solve the issue, which is likely a combination of android and BMW issues, and just have NPR or some podcast playing all the time when i drive.
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