Might be a good time to get a second opinion from a reputable indie shop. Like the heart surgery analogy, either you reassure yourself you actually need it done, or you find that it is something less severe (and probably for less $$, and willing to consider aftermarket upgrade options for the parts like clutch/flywheel). Your local BMW CCA should have some good recc's for shops to work with, and the 10% discount on work will pay for the membership.
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